The last week or so I haven't really had the motivation to write a new update, but I have returned!  My boyfriend and I have been house and dog sitting for some friends that have gone overseas, and because our housemates have also gone away we have been feeding their dog as well.  This means going home every day to feed her then coming back here.  The good thing about this has been I've had lots of doggies to walk!  My diet has been pretty atrocious though.

On the upside they have a scale here and I weighed myself.  The damage wasn't as bad as I thought as I'm the same weight I was when I weighed in at my doctors office about 7 months ago.  I'm pretty sure I lost weight around Christmas though because I went camping on an island for a few weeks and was very physically active and I felt like I had lost weight.  Obviously I've regained what I had lost.

Our friend's house is only a couple of blocks from a street that has many yummy food spots and restaurants, so we did get take out a couple of times and I have indulged a little too much.  But I decided today I am going to start being the person I want to be, the person who makes healthy choices and someone who doesn't rely on food to make me feel better.

I feel like my major problem is the constant war inside my head when it comes to food and the way I allow myself to give in too easily sometimes.  Then when I give in a little I reason with myself that I may as well go all out and restart the next day.  The problem is that this happens too consistently so that most days end up being bad days.  I want to get back to not caring about food so much and seeing it as fuel rather than something that makes me feel better emotionally.  Quitting smoking recently has not helped this process because I have developed a sweet tooth and a huge appetite where I just want to eat everything and even after the point of fullness I keep going.

I feel like every aspect of my life is effected by my weight, from the way people treat me like I'm invisible 2nd class person (even family and friends), to the impending health issues I face if I don't make this change in my life.

So far today has been a good day and I'm not feeling hungry.  I've had my breakfast shake, an apple, tea without milk and taken the dogs for a nice walk.  I plan on having soup for lunch and not eating after dinner!  Those are my goals for the rest of the day. 

Another new goal: update this thing more!

Today is the beginning of my weight loss journey.  Having been very overweight since my teens, I need to do this for so many reasons.  The most important reason is not only for my health, but for the chance to have a baby.  I suffer from Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which makes it hard for me to become pregnant.  Weight loss will greatly increase my chances of having children, and at aged 30, I don't want to wait too much longer to start having kids. 

I have started this blog, because I need something to keep me accountable and I would like to document my progress.  In the last couple of years I have managed to lose around 15kg (33 pounds).  It's an estimate because at my highest weight I was too fat to be weighed by my old scale!  I don't own a scale at the moment, but I have gained some weight back over the last 6 months.  I'm too much of a wuss to get myself weighed, so I am going to make getting a scale one of my rewards to sticking to my new way of eating.

The method I have chosen is a lowish carb (under 100g a day) diet, with moderate exercise for now.  I've found from my previous attempts at losing weight that lower carb diets work well for me because it curbs my hunger and I think my previous high carb diet is what has led me to being so overweight.  I have tried many diets, from just calorie counting and eating what I want (always hungry), to a full on atkins diet (can't handle no carbs!) and with some success shake diets (works if you can stomach shakes everyday).

I have a few weeks supply of celebrity slim shakes that I am going to utilise to kick-start my weight loss, then I plan to just eat lower carb (no bread, pasta, potatos), with lots of unprocessed protein, veggies and a small amount of fruit.  I love cooking and trying new recipes, which will come in handy with coming up with lower carb, healthy yet yummy meals.  I am aiming for 1500 or under calories a day, combined with some excerise on most days.

So, today is the start of my weight loss journey, I expect it will no always go smoothly, but as long as I don't give up when I make a mistake like I have in the past, I know in the end I will reach my goals.